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gender-trash:

gender-trash:

gender-trash:

i am! obsessed! with this book from the late ming dynasty about scams to watch out for (esp. if you are a traveling merchant). this guy is like, there ARE immortals who can survive without food but you WILL NOT encounter them because they live alone in the mountains and don’t talk to anyone. if a monk comes to your house and claims to not need to eat, it’s probably because he’s secretly eating human fetuses, or something. eunuchs are invariably corrupt and the court system is useless. however, do NOT try to bribe anyone for a better SAT result for your idiot failson; this never works. nuns WILL try to seduce your wife into cheating on you. if your idiot failson does really badly on the SAT, make sure to have his father’s remains buried somewhere with A+ fengshui; this is Guaranteed to work (unless your wife is cheating on you).

oh yeah and ofc there’s the classic pretending-a-cow-is-the-reincarnation-of-your-deceased-mother scam. watch out for that one

answers to frequently asked questions:

  • the book is “The Book of Swindles” (i’m reading the columbia university press abridged edition)
  • its actually not the SAT its the civil service exams but like. same difference
  • yes it IS unhinged and you SHOULD read it

(via graveexcitement)

  • 5 hours ago > gender-trash
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justcatposts:

One whole minute of a deaf Kitty getting excited that her owner is home 

(Source)

(via gingerpegasus)

Source: justcatposts

  • 6 hours ago > justcatposts
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beemovieerotica:

in-a-mellow-tone:

in-a-mellow-tone:

in-a-mellow-tone:

Fuck it, post lamb stew slow cooker recipe

image

How high was I last night?

How much lamb stew did I want to make??

1,814¾ lbs of Lamb????

>960 cups beef broth
>2 bay leaves

the unfathomable power of bay leaf

(via anocturnalmorningperson)

  • 6 hours ago > in-a-mellow-tone
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rongzhi:

English added by me :)

  • 22 hours ago > rongzhi
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thepioden:

calamitys-child:

Adhd will have you too burnt out to eat or shower but give you the hubris to decide you can homebrew an entire d&d system on the back of a receipt

@friendlyneighborhoodmadscientist

(via graveexcitement)

  • 22 hours ago > calamitys-child
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funnytwittertweets:

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(via anocturnalmorningperson)

  • 22 hours ago > funnytwittertweets
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kay-t99:

thepleasuregoblin:

I wish cats could play video games

The world could be so beautiful

image
image
image

(via timetoturn)

  • 23 hours ago > thepleasuregoblin
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monstersandmaw:

worldwithoutmiracles:

legsdemandias:

legsdemandias:

legsdemandias:

This hack will save your teeth: there are no “right” and “wrong” times to brush your teeth.

It gets in your head that you brush after eating when you wake up and when you go to sleep. Yeah that’s all well and good, but those are times that don’t have a lot of motivation and control…So just…brush your teeth at a different time. 

You go to the bathroom in the middle of the day and are like “I should brush my teeth” DO IT!!!! Don’t listen to the other half of that sentence that says “shit but it’s not the right time” 

I don’t care if you’re about to eat, or get coffee, or whatever. 

If you are there and you want to…do it. 

Honestly this hack will solve most of problems. Just stop assigning meaningless “right” and “wrong” to tasks and start saying “I can pretty much do whatever I want whenever I want and society and its expectations don’t really matter to me”. 

If there’s no barrier in the first place you don’t have to get over it. 

huge ADHD hack. if you can get over the “all or nothing”, moralizing, judging aspect of every action you “should” take, you’ll discover you can get more done than you expect.

I’m a big fan of the 2 PM shower. spend a whole morning feeling lazy and guilty, then just decide to start the day over again, even if it is lunchtime.

you can always begin again. any hour, any moment can be the beginning. you can choose that. the clock doesn’t run you, you run the clock

you can always begin again. any hour, any moment can be the beginning. you can choose that

(via graveexcitement)

  • 23 hours ago > legsdemandias
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frnkieroismydaddy:

rattle-my-stars:

kaydeefalls:

When your hamster shoves an entire stick of zucchini in his cheek and then goes about his day. 🤣

image

“He’s not going to fit that in his cheek.”

“Oh, he’s chewing it, it’ll be smaller.”

“He can’t possibly-”

“shit, I guess he can.”

(via gingerpegasus)

  • 23 hours ago > kaydeefalls
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lightandfireandsunhavegone:
“ralfmaximus:
“pricklylegs:
“My dentist never gives me feetie warmers.
”
You’re probably not likely to claw the dentist’s face off.
”
You don’t know that
”
Pop-up View Separately

lightandfireandsunhavegone:

ralfmaximus:

pricklylegs:

My dentist never gives me feetie warmers.

You’re probably not likely to claw the dentist’s face off.

You don’t know that

(via floorsofsilentseas)

  • 23 hours ago > captcreate
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crevicedwelling:

crevicedwelling:

good morning. it’s Beeftongue breakfast

please listen to this with sound on

(via gingerpegasus)

  • 23 hours ago > crevicedwelling
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lydiardbell:

gothcrafts:

image

personally i would read the psychological thriller based on the horrific events that transpire at the fanfic retreat

image

(via anocturnalmorningperson)

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homoluigi:

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(via anocturnalmorningperson)

  • 1 day ago > homoluigi
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cimicherrychanga:

cimicherrychanga:

engaging in girly activities such as: knotting

image

um. something like that

(via zaydrion)

  • 1 day ago > cimicherrychanga
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sarahseeandersen:

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(via zaydrion)

  • 1 day ago > sarahseeandersen
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Avatar 中 ✓ EN ✓ FR ✓

adult ✓ pronouns ✗

you can call me mercury.

i can and will block discourse blogs.

if you want a follow back feel free to go into my asks, but don't expect me to comply; i like to keep my dash sparse for productivity reasons.
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